day 3 – spinning (337)

you sit still and you wonder
you’re motionless but the streets are spinning
and everything is distorted.
you want to hold on or
put your hands on it and make it stop.

no one’s around you
you feel they’re slipping away
and you want them to hold your hand
but your heart trembles and your mind races
you hold your head and try to make it stop.

but you need them and
you feel helpless and you’re falling
and you grow lonely and scared
and you feel someone watching
so you hold your own hands and there’s a change

you wonder if you should leave
and if you fall will that stranger catch you?
but you’re still spinning faster now
and you’re sick and your stomach is in ropes
and you miss them and you’re sinking

and your heart is pumping
and your blood is boiling and breaking
your thoughts are of paper airplanes
but they were lost in the street still spinning
and your friends take you home and you realise

you’re watching yourself
and you sit on the couch and you miss them
your emotions – untamed and unruly
you’re falling and scared
you hold your hands and you look out the window

you wonder if they’re back
but  the only thing you see is the two of you
you are ghosts and you spin with the street lights
and you’re entwined and that brings a smile but slowly you disappear
and you put out your hand and you reach for something and try to hold on

sometimes i dream. or am high or am very low. and tis the season.

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