day 4 circling around (338)

we circle around.
our circle serves many purposes ..unity, whole, endless (infinity)…
draw a circle in the air for a hug..
draw a circle on the ground and step inside for protection…
eternity… etc.
or the moon… something about a full moon that takes me home. takes me to days of walking with my mom in the evening… going to the little market. the moon above us and her humming some little tune

not sure where i’m going with this (again, like most things)…
but  circles make me feel like everything will come back to where we started, right?
a circle… a cycle… like cause and effect

what you put out there will eventually come back to you. this isn’t a lecture or sermon or a make-you-feel good kind of thing. it’s just (i guess, like karma), put something good out  and good things will come to you, no? maybe that’s just a bunch of silly bullshit (shhhh). i don’t know.
i think when we’re in the dumps and feeling quite low, more often, we tend to think of the bad we have received more so than the  good we have given. but maybe it should be the other way around? we should think of the good we have received and the bad we have given. maybe? have we done enough good? or just , meh, good enough? 

as a female-
i think we struggle to be really ourselves. for me, it would be difficult to not be myself. there is already so much to do, so to live in someone else’s shoes -or to pretend to be something else sounds exciting but very tiring , too. 
when i look at my girls i think to myself. fuck, i hope they are true and happy. 
sure, i want them to be good members of society, but it’s such and idealistic abstract notion. it’s a work in progress. although, some people do get up and some are natural born do-gooders, and think they will do something good and significant and be a ‘good member of society’.
i hope they will give out courtesy and receive courtesy. 
i want them to feel self-worth and be counted
i want them to be courageous and strong. not perfect. 
i want them to get on with their days with dignity
i want them to be an asset in their communities.  

be true people. 
don’t want them going around calling themselves nature lovers and stepping over sacred grounds protecting oak trees just to get a ‘special’ photograph. respect nature. but i get that ‘nature lover’, i can understand the desire to capture a protected beauty so that someone else can enjoy it but, still seems a little hypocritical. i’ve jumped and climbed fences a bit myself.

i want them to be self-sufficient and stand up and be helpful. don’t be a liability – be an asset.
make a difference by thinking globally.
be selfless.
you really can’t train to be a good member of society…being a good member in your circle is rooted in you, no?
i believe what ever you throw out there will circle back around to you – to your kin.

you better throw something good….




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